“God foresaw your tribulation and has specifically armed you to go through it not without pain but without stain”. - CS Lewis
A week before Christmas friends of ours had their two sons involved in a tragic, rear end, car crash that put them both in medically induced comas for brain injuries and embarking on a long journey of rehabilitation. The young man that caused the crash died at the scene. The incredible Christian character of this couple was brought to mind this past Sunday.
Our pastor, Bobby Dagnell, who is credited for the following lesson, spoke out of 1 Peter 2:21-25. His lesson gave deeper consideration to the question, ‘Why do Christians suffer?’
1 Peter 2:21-25 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. "He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
As Christians we need to remember that we are called by God. He has chosen us and we have accepted the call to follow Him. We live in a world broken by sin but we are His disciples and when we suffer we endure it patiently, we follow His example and endure.
When we endure patiently we are trusting God for our present and our future. We have elected to be a part of God’s plan a small part of something much larger than we can see or understand. God called us, we answer with our obedience even as the purpose of our obedience remains unseen.
As Disciples of Christ our reactions to the bad things that happen can have eternal consequences to those around us. The many that are lost see what we do and their response to Christ’s message will be colored by our actions. If we are a poor representation of what God’s love is to us how can we expect others to desire the same experience?
Through the wonders of technology we have traveled with our friends via blog postings on the boy’s medical conditions and progress: as they have offered condolences and grace to the family of the boy that died, as they have endured, sought comfort and rest in the arms of our Savior, and been an example of His love to so many who have been brought into contact with their suffering.
Through the wonders of technology the response of their Christian family was worldwide and immediate. The power of God’s saints joining together in His name has demonstrated His glory and power and He has been praised.
We are called. We live in a broken world full of sin. We have and will suffer. We must endure patiently for our purpose is but a small part. We are following Christ’s example because the eternity of so many depend on us.
"Evil exists in the world, good lives in the spirits of God's children and from the reservoir of redeemed hearts, prevailing prayer can issue forth when no words are spoken." The Trial by Robert Whitlow
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wishing You a Silent Night
It is Christmas Eve and I have spent the day with family in front of a roaring fire working on a Christmas puzzle. My perfect day of holiday celebration but it does not complete my yearly, holiday desire.
Every year I hope the Christmas season will be more meaningful . . . to me. I look forward to each December, Sunday worship service to enjoy a special closeness with God as we sing carols and revisit the familiar Bible scriptures. I want to look into the clear, cold night sky and have God reveal himself to me in a mighty way. I want to be filled and moved and immersed in the incredible gift we are celebrating . . . but I’m not. Why?
Amy Grant sings the song “I Need a Silent Night” which is an excellent description of what I feel. Even as I mature and grow spiritually the holidays more often seem rushed and tension filled. Reading through holiday cards, articles, blogs, etc. there is no lack of council on the “true meaning of Christmas” and how we should feel, should respond, should behave. I completely agree but never fully achieve these dictates. Why?
Pondering this for yet another year God revealed to me my disobedience. In the midst of making holiday cheer my personal quiet time is lost, my prayers are stunted and brisk and I do less to seek His face during the celebration of His birth. At a time when I want to feel His closeness the most I have turned away seeking holiday fun, cheer, memories in a manner that does not include Him.
The Christmas season should see an increase in my time with Jesus. Quiet time should be an extended priority with more time allotted to read, pray and sit in the presence. This should be a present I give to myself which in the end is a present I give to everyone else. By meeting my own expectations of the season I will prepare myself to meet the expectations that come with the season. It is my own disobedience that robs me of the joy of Christmas.
Others clearly share my dilemma so I will pray for you and for me that we will start each season in continued obedience to Christ with our Bibles in hand, in extended quiet time, sitting in the presence of our Lord while celebrating His birth, perhaps on a silent night after a crazy day.
Every year I hope the Christmas season will be more meaningful . . . to me. I look forward to each December, Sunday worship service to enjoy a special closeness with God as we sing carols and revisit the familiar Bible scriptures. I want to look into the clear, cold night sky and have God reveal himself to me in a mighty way. I want to be filled and moved and immersed in the incredible gift we are celebrating . . . but I’m not. Why?
Amy Grant sings the song “I Need a Silent Night” which is an excellent description of what I feel. Even as I mature and grow spiritually the holidays more often seem rushed and tension filled. Reading through holiday cards, articles, blogs, etc. there is no lack of council on the “true meaning of Christmas” and how we should feel, should respond, should behave. I completely agree but never fully achieve these dictates. Why?
Pondering this for yet another year God revealed to me my disobedience. In the midst of making holiday cheer my personal quiet time is lost, my prayers are stunted and brisk and I do less to seek His face during the celebration of His birth. At a time when I want to feel His closeness the most I have turned away seeking holiday fun, cheer, memories in a manner that does not include Him.
The Christmas season should see an increase in my time with Jesus. Quiet time should be an extended priority with more time allotted to read, pray and sit in the presence. This should be a present I give to myself which in the end is a present I give to everyone else. By meeting my own expectations of the season I will prepare myself to meet the expectations that come with the season. It is my own disobedience that robs me of the joy of Christmas.
Others clearly share my dilemma so I will pray for you and for me that we will start each season in continued obedience to Christ with our Bibles in hand, in extended quiet time, sitting in the presence of our Lord while celebrating His birth, perhaps on a silent night after a crazy day.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Is it a Tradition or a Rut?
Here we are in the middle of the holiday season; after Thanksgiving and before Christmas. This is a fun time to be out among the masses. People seem quicker with a greeting or kind word. Conversations with strangers are begun with a smile and before I know it we are sharing our holiday plans and traditions. It is fascinating how different the same holiday is celebrated.
Tradition is a common word used when sharing holiday experiences. Young families are encouraged to begin holiday traditions and older adults are steeped in traditions and rituals. As times change and industries evolve rituals also change and evolve. Where once the fireplace, a crackling fire tradition, was in the majority of homes it is replaced by a video, evolved to a DVD, of a roaring fire that will play on your television or computer screen.
While visiting with a friend she shared that she liked to try new things for the holiday meal but had met with opposition from some members of the family. “We don’t usually have that,” was the response. There are those who have gone to great lengths to reproduce specific items. I, myself, have gone the extra mile to keep traditions in place and/or argued when one was missed, replaced or unavailable but when does a tradition become a rut?
A rut is a fixed or established mode of procedure or course of life, usually dull or unpromising. A tradition that becomes troublesome or uncompromising to the detriment of others can have crossed over to a rut. Are there times when our efforts to continue a tradition have caused others distress or brought conflict to the holiday? Have we, perhaps unknowingly, diminished the celebration of another by our insistence in keeping with tradition?
Traditions are a large part of our celebrations and also a large part of our Christian worship
experiences. Traditions are useful in remembrance and teaching and can provide a strong framework for spiritual growth but these religious traditions, too, can become a rut. Historically denominations have been split and formed over a disagreement in traditions. See the Old-New Side debate as one example.
Justo L. Gonzalez in his The Story of Christianity provides insight on how to escape turning religious tradition into a rut. “One way in which we can avoid this danger is to know the past that colors our vision. A person wearing tinted glasses can avoid the conclusion that the entire world is tinted only by being conscious of the glasses themselves. Likewise, if we are to break free from an undue weight of tradition, we must begin by understanding what that tradition is, how we came to be where we are, and how particular elements in our past color our view of the present. It is then we are free to choose which elements in the past, and in the present, we wish to reject, and which we will affirm.”
At this wonderful time of year when traditions play an important role in our family celebrations and worship be deliberate in the fruits of the spirit and be mindful of Romans 14:20; Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. (NIV)
Tradition is a common word used when sharing holiday experiences. Young families are encouraged to begin holiday traditions and older adults are steeped in traditions and rituals. As times change and industries evolve rituals also change and evolve. Where once the fireplace, a crackling fire tradition, was in the majority of homes it is replaced by a video, evolved to a DVD, of a roaring fire that will play on your television or computer screen.
While visiting with a friend she shared that she liked to try new things for the holiday meal but had met with opposition from some members of the family. “We don’t usually have that,” was the response. There are those who have gone to great lengths to reproduce specific items. I, myself, have gone the extra mile to keep traditions in place and/or argued when one was missed, replaced or unavailable but when does a tradition become a rut?
A rut is a fixed or established mode of procedure or course of life, usually dull or unpromising. A tradition that becomes troublesome or uncompromising to the detriment of others can have crossed over to a rut. Are there times when our efforts to continue a tradition have caused others distress or brought conflict to the holiday? Have we, perhaps unknowingly, diminished the celebration of another by our insistence in keeping with tradition?
Traditions are a large part of our celebrations and also a large part of our Christian worship
experiences. Traditions are useful in remembrance and teaching and can provide a strong framework for spiritual growth but these religious traditions, too, can become a rut. Historically denominations have been split and formed over a disagreement in traditions. See the Old-New Side debate as one example.
Justo L. Gonzalez in his The Story of Christianity provides insight on how to escape turning religious tradition into a rut. “One way in which we can avoid this danger is to know the past that colors our vision. A person wearing tinted glasses can avoid the conclusion that the entire world is tinted only by being conscious of the glasses themselves. Likewise, if we are to break free from an undue weight of tradition, we must begin by understanding what that tradition is, how we came to be where we are, and how particular elements in our past color our view of the present. It is then we are free to choose which elements in the past, and in the present, we wish to reject, and which we will affirm.”
At this wonderful time of year when traditions play an important role in our family celebrations and worship be deliberate in the fruits of the spirit and be mindful of Romans 14:20; Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. (NIV)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Parable of the Two Salads
The Christian life is a journey. We accept Christ as our Savior, realizing we are sinful and then give our life over to His teachings and transforming love and grace. What follows is a constant learning, growing and changing at a pace our own ‘will’ will allow. I was 40 years old when I experienced the Parable of the Two Salads and though it was a heart changing, life changing experience I had already been on my Christian journey for many, many years.
In reflection this was my Jeremiah moment. Jeremiah 29:12-14 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and will bring you back from captivity. Although Jesus became my savior in grade school it took over thirty years of stuttering growth through stubbornness and selfishness to reach the spiritual development where He revealed Himself in a powerful way.
It was Thanksgiving, 2001 and the atmosphere was tense. No family or guests were expected but I was planning the meal, the day, the whole school break. There were two particular salads from David’s childhood that we always included at the Thanksgiving meal. Groceries were purchased, food made and served. Questions were raised about the salads. Something was different. What does that matter they are present on the table. Tensions rose, words were snapped, feelings hurt; the silence was deafening.
I bustled around the littered table cleaning up the remnants of a not-so-perfect meal while having a boisterous discussion with God in my head. “Why is he being such a . . . ? Why can’t he . . .? Why isn’t he . . .? Why doesn’t he . . .?” And in the midst of my tirade God asked, “Why don’t you?” I was dumbfounded. He proceeded to open my heart and flood it with David’s point of view, what my actions looked like and how, as a child of His, I should be choosing to act instead.
Like individual playing cards my negative, selfish behavior of the day was laid out for me to see. How I ignored what David was wanting, the good, childhood memories the salads evoked, for my desire of penny saving and expediency. How my unenthusiastic, rushed manner reflected on everyone else and created the tension. Where were the fruits of the spirit? Where was my Christ like behavior? Where was my thanksgiving?
I asked God, and David, to forgive me and made Psalm 139:23-24 my daily prayer. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. (NIV) I asked God to give me the desire to seek Him and He planted that desire deep in my heart.
In the past eight years of consciously, deliberately seeking God I have enjoyed a deeper personal relationship and He has restored my joy in life. I was on the journey but often taking my own path and finding frustration and dissatisfaction but, when asked, He showed me a much narrower path that brought me closer to Him and understanding what He requires of me as an agent of the kingdom.
Do you have a personal parable that allowed God to reveal Himself to you in a powerful way? I would be honored to hear your story if you would like to share.
In reflection this was my Jeremiah moment. Jeremiah 29:12-14 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and will bring you back from captivity. Although Jesus became my savior in grade school it took over thirty years of stuttering growth through stubbornness and selfishness to reach the spiritual development where He revealed Himself in a powerful way.
It was Thanksgiving, 2001 and the atmosphere was tense. No family or guests were expected but I was planning the meal, the day, the whole school break. There were two particular salads from David’s childhood that we always included at the Thanksgiving meal. Groceries were purchased, food made and served. Questions were raised about the salads. Something was different. What does that matter they are present on the table. Tensions rose, words were snapped, feelings hurt; the silence was deafening.
I bustled around the littered table cleaning up the remnants of a not-so-perfect meal while having a boisterous discussion with God in my head. “Why is he being such a . . . ? Why can’t he . . .? Why isn’t he . . .? Why doesn’t he . . .?” And in the midst of my tirade God asked, “Why don’t you?” I was dumbfounded. He proceeded to open my heart and flood it with David’s point of view, what my actions looked like and how, as a child of His, I should be choosing to act instead.
Like individual playing cards my negative, selfish behavior of the day was laid out for me to see. How I ignored what David was wanting, the good, childhood memories the salads evoked, for my desire of penny saving and expediency. How my unenthusiastic, rushed manner reflected on everyone else and created the tension. Where were the fruits of the spirit? Where was my Christ like behavior? Where was my thanksgiving?
I asked God, and David, to forgive me and made Psalm 139:23-24 my daily prayer. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. (NIV) I asked God to give me the desire to seek Him and He planted that desire deep in my heart.
In the past eight years of consciously, deliberately seeking God I have enjoyed a deeper personal relationship and He has restored my joy in life. I was on the journey but often taking my own path and finding frustration and dissatisfaction but, when asked, He showed me a much narrower path that brought me closer to Him and understanding what He requires of me as an agent of the kingdom.
Do you have a personal parable that allowed God to reveal Himself to you in a powerful way? I would be honored to hear your story if you would like to share.
Monday, November 16, 2009
The Writing on the Wall
I was sitting in church yesterday immersed in the worship and music and pushing through a continuing conversation with the Lord when I saw the writing on the wall, literally. It was the words to the song that everyone in the congregation was singing but as I sung the words the Lord spoke to my heart and His meaning was clear. The conversation was at an end and it was time for me to be obedient.
Many of you are familiar with the saying "the writing on the wall". It originates from the Book of Daniel when God wrote upon the wall the words that predicted the downfall of Babylon. As an idiom it has come to mean one can see the end of an event or thing. Personally this was the end of a discussion I began with God in August.
As is with most spiritual journeys the end result of the conversation was evident before yesterday but looking back it is clearer to see the other prayer markers in place. My situation will allow for the work, it is biblically sound and, most importantly, David is like minded. It is also clear that the holdup was due to the answer not being the fun and exciting answer I was negotiating for but an unglamorous job that will take much work, effort and discipline. I was delaying the inevitable by arguing under the guise of seeking God's guidance; hence, the writing on the wall.
There is a history in this situation which brings evidence to the personal relationship we can have with Jesus Christ. Very clear in my memory is a Sunday morning in April, 1992 of sitting in the church service at Crescent Hill Baptist Church in Louisville, Kentucky. I was in fervent prayer pleading for the Lord to provide an answer. "Lord, put the writing on the wall. Let me know what to do and I will do it," and I searched the wall behind the pulpit willing the Father to give me a word. There was no writing that day but the moment was poignant enough that the point of the writing on the wall, yesterday, was clear. I will do it.
Now begins the work. Ironically I anticipate my work for the Lord will be sitting eating chocolate bars and never gaining any weight when it is always harvesting the cocoa beans in the hot, humid tropical sun. The overwhelming proof in my personal journey that my joy will be so much more compete in the harvest should keep me from negotiating but my spiritual immaturity and strong will fight every time.
I am starting with this blog. The focus is changing from my intent to provide wisdom to Logan and my college friends to providing a window for those the Lord will send and the path that will unfold before me. Pray for me as I will pray for you that we be obedient in everything.
The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. 2 Corinthians 2:9 (NIV)
Many of you are familiar with the saying "the writing on the wall". It originates from the Book of Daniel when God wrote upon the wall the words that predicted the downfall of Babylon. As an idiom it has come to mean one can see the end of an event or thing. Personally this was the end of a discussion I began with God in August.
As is with most spiritual journeys the end result of the conversation was evident before yesterday but looking back it is clearer to see the other prayer markers in place. My situation will allow for the work, it is biblically sound and, most importantly, David is like minded. It is also clear that the holdup was due to the answer not being the fun and exciting answer I was negotiating for but an unglamorous job that will take much work, effort and discipline. I was delaying the inevitable by arguing under the guise of seeking God's guidance; hence, the writing on the wall.
There is a history in this situation which brings evidence to the personal relationship we can have with Jesus Christ. Very clear in my memory is a Sunday morning in April, 1992 of sitting in the church service at Crescent Hill Baptist Church in Louisville, Kentucky. I was in fervent prayer pleading for the Lord to provide an answer. "Lord, put the writing on the wall. Let me know what to do and I will do it," and I searched the wall behind the pulpit willing the Father to give me a word. There was no writing that day but the moment was poignant enough that the point of the writing on the wall, yesterday, was clear. I will do it.
Now begins the work. Ironically I anticipate my work for the Lord will be sitting eating chocolate bars and never gaining any weight when it is always harvesting the cocoa beans in the hot, humid tropical sun. The overwhelming proof in my personal journey that my joy will be so much more compete in the harvest should keep me from negotiating but my spiritual immaturity and strong will fight every time.
I am starting with this blog. The focus is changing from my intent to provide wisdom to Logan and my college friends to providing a window for those the Lord will send and the path that will unfold before me. Pray for me as I will pray for you that we be obedient in everything.
The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. 2 Corinthians 2:9 (NIV)
Friday, September 4, 2009
When Death Plans to Visit
David and I have entered that season when we are taking care of aging parents. Although they are light hearted about having 'one foot in the grave' death is close enough that we have discussed, or are discussing, what is to be done during, and at, their final stage of life. As we are watching these loved ones slow down and their bodies give in to the inevitable the natural inclination is to review their life. This brings revelation, consideration and insight.As health issues are often what brings death close we take a look at inherited maladies and the cause and effect of good vs. bad choices. Heart disease and diabetes are all encompassing and expensive. Better choices about eating, exercise, stress levels and sleep patterns at any age are documented to make a difference. When you are young you diet and exercise to look good to others. At mid-age we try diet and exercise, again, because we’ve seen too many medications and not enough energy to get outside.
Relationship skills, or your lack of, are spot lighted in your twilight years. Consequences generated from decisions made concerning family relations throughout your life come home to roost. If you didn’t have time for your children or take care of their needs when they were young don’t be surprised that they will not have time to take care of your needs when you are old. Be the parent, grandparent, sister, brother, Aunt, Uncle, cousin and/or friend you would like to have and you’ll always have someone to sit beside you.Faith will bring you peace. Where you will go when death comes for you becomes very important when death plans a visit. It is human nature to be afraid of the unknown especially with the possibility of Hell existing soon to be revealed. I fear the overwhelming sadness of the absence of a loved one even when I am certain they will be waiting for me in heaven. That emptiness can be a wide expanse. For myself I find great comfort in Proverbs 3:24” When you lie down, you will not be afraid; you will lie down, and your sleep will be pleasant.” I know that when death comes for me I will be going home to heaven. I want to spend as much time as I can with those I love here on earth but I look forward to the day Christ takes me home.
So what are we doing? Trying once again to eat right, get more exercise and participate in a wellness program. Working, saving and investing wisely for what we anticipate our needs will be when our income becomes limited. Demonstrating love and care for those who will be needed to care for us. Above all else: nurturing our spiritual life so we may be about the work of the kingdom here on earth, experience peace in our passing and hear “well done good and faithful servant…,” Matt. 25:21 upon our arrival home.
Google images:antsysketchbook.blogspot.comdhmh.maryland.govsandwichink.com
unholygrail.net
Friday, June 12, 2009
Dating & Mating #4: Keeping Relationships Alive
It is not breaking news that we, as humans, are relationship challenged. We have few, walking, breathing, models of a “good marriage” that we can observe either personally, in our family circles, in our communities, nationally or worldwide. Lots of factors play into the death of a relationship. I want to address those benign breakups that blame factors like “irreconcilable differences” as the cause. Those breakups where both parties hold equal share in the unaddressed problems and agree that it is more effort to stay together than it is to (attempt) to sever all connections.
In these breakups selfishness is the cause, short-sightedness is the motivator and lack of communication is the driving force. In 1977 Robert J. Ringer published his book “Looking Out for #1”. He created a title that turned into a mantra and was absorbed into our culture thus providing a socially acceptable excuse for seeking our own pleasures at the cost of all others.
We need little reason to be selfish; it is part of our inherent nature. Self-less-ness is what makes a life in Christ so outstanding and yet so difficult to maintain. To be self-less takes conscious thought and effort because it is not our idea, not what we want or what would make us most happy or our point of view. Being self-less is being obedient to the commands of; love one another, do to others as you would have them do to you, love your neighbor as yourself. Being self-less is putting others first, it is looking out for numbers 2,3,4…; it is a joy you realize only when you are.
In our selfish desires we become short-sighted. We want what will make us feel good ASAP giving no thought to what the consequences may be in the long run. Not thinking that supporting two households is more expensive than keeping one together. Not seeing beyond “I cannot stand this another minute” but a year later you sit alone yet another night. Someone young makes you feel young but six months later you realize you have so little in common. Our pain, our frustration, our fears are so large, so immediate that only instant action will salve, solve, or soothe us. We’ll deal with the fallout later no matter the cost.
Short-sightedness leads us to stop talking. If we don’t communicate we can’t argue, disagree or hurt. Once you shut your mouth to suffer in silence you begin construction on the wall that will separate you from them, the pain, the situation and the solution. Healthy arguments resolved are substantially better than icy silence. If concerns are not given a voice there can be no understanding only conjecture and speculation. NO ONE is a mind reader and expecting them to be is your fault alone.
The cure for a hurt, damaged, broken relationship is forgiveness. To forgive is to grant pardon; absolve; to cease to feel resentment against. Forgiveness is something we want desperately to be given but give so reluctantly or not at all. To forgive goes hand in hand with self-less-ness. As Christians we are called to forgive simply because we have been forgiven: Col. 3:13, Luke 6:37, Matt 6:14-15. Forgiveness will heal those you give it to and most importantly it will heal you. It takes practice, and many times, great effort to forgive but it is a skill that should be honed at all costs because if you do not it will cost you.
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Matthew 6:14,15
In these breakups selfishness is the cause, short-sightedness is the motivator and lack of communication is the driving force. In 1977 Robert J. Ringer published his book “Looking Out for #1”. He created a title that turned into a mantra and was absorbed into our culture thus providing a socially acceptable excuse for seeking our own pleasures at the cost of all others.
We need little reason to be selfish; it is part of our inherent nature. Self-less-ness is what makes a life in Christ so outstanding and yet so difficult to maintain. To be self-less takes conscious thought and effort because it is not our idea, not what we want or what would make us most happy or our point of view. Being self-less is being obedient to the commands of; love one another, do to others as you would have them do to you, love your neighbor as yourself. Being self-less is putting others first, it is looking out for numbers 2,3,4…; it is a joy you realize only when you are.
In our selfish desires we become short-sighted. We want what will make us feel good ASAP giving no thought to what the consequences may be in the long run. Not thinking that supporting two households is more expensive than keeping one together. Not seeing beyond “I cannot stand this another minute” but a year later you sit alone yet another night. Someone young makes you feel young but six months later you realize you have so little in common. Our pain, our frustration, our fears are so large, so immediate that only instant action will salve, solve, or soothe us. We’ll deal with the fallout later no matter the cost.
Short-sightedness leads us to stop talking. If we don’t communicate we can’t argue, disagree or hurt. Once you shut your mouth to suffer in silence you begin construction on the wall that will separate you from them, the pain, the situation and the solution. Healthy arguments resolved are substantially better than icy silence. If concerns are not given a voice there can be no understanding only conjecture and speculation. NO ONE is a mind reader and expecting them to be is your fault alone.
The cure for a hurt, damaged, broken relationship is forgiveness. To forgive is to grant pardon; absolve; to cease to feel resentment against. Forgiveness is something we want desperately to be given but give so reluctantly or not at all. To forgive goes hand in hand with self-less-ness. As Christians we are called to forgive simply because we have been forgiven: Col. 3:13, Luke 6:37, Matt 6:14-15. Forgiveness will heal those you give it to and most importantly it will heal you. It takes practice, and many times, great effort to forgive but it is a skill that should be honed at all costs because if you do not it will cost you.
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Matthew 6:14,15
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