Saturday, January 31, 2009

Dating & Mating #1...Research and Development

This particular topic is numbered because all there is to say will need to be covered over several posts.

There is an innate desire in us all to be someone's #1. We want to matter, to be special, to connect with another person. This desire drives us to search, through dating, and to try time and time again whatever the pain and heartbreak we may encounter along the way. What would you do to give yourself a better chance for an enjoyable and and less painful journey down relationship road? Would you be willing to research and develop your skills?

Understanding the opposite sex is a quest that we all embark on. We are guided by friends, family and media of every sort. In the world of relationships, and life, information is knowledge. The more you know and understand any topic the better equipped and more likely you are to succeed.

In your quest for successful relationships let me make some media recommendations:

Dateable: are you? are they? written by Justin Lookadoo and Hayley DiMarco.
for men only and for women only both written by Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn.

These are both quick read, meaning short, books and although Dateable targets high school dating and For Men/Women Only targets adults they both do a great job of providing insight to the inner workings of the opposite sex. You will be well served to read them both.

Once you get this basic understanding you are ahead of the game in the dating world. To go to the next level, or a deeper relationship, I would recommend these books:

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
Please Understand Me by David Keirsey.

These books require more effort but will provide you with a better understanding of your self as well as tools for successful relationships in all areas of your life.

Get ahead of the game and remember; you will only get out of a relationship as much as you put into it.

Friday, January 30, 2009

In The Beginning.....Welcome

Welcome to my friends (and family) that I have met face to face, to the friends I know only by their text messages and to the new friends who will meet me here.

This blog has been created to share my knowledge (Master's in Psych.) my advice (47 years of living) and my thoughts (wordsmith, known to few until now) with people who I care about. Those in consideration, here at the beginning, are my son, my nieces and nephews and the college friends I am making through my work with FBC Life Groups. All others who visit are welcome to enjoy and participate because I care about you too.

What you read here is mine and therefore will have baggage and unsettled issues attached. The only evidence I might offer are my feelings and impressions. I do not claim to be the only opinion or, by any means, the right opinion. My opinion is always fluid and open to change. Your opinion matters on any topic but be prepared that in the end, as with my own, it may only matter to you.

It is my intention to say all things in love. If you are offended or hurt or my opinion steps on your toes I apologize. My first bit of advice for you to remember; as with all human beings, it is all about me and very rarely about you. The second bit; never attach emotion to written communications as often your impressions will be wrong. If we believe we have been misunderstood let's make the agreement to talk it through.

I have an anglo-american Christian foundation and much of what I say will reflect this. We do not have to believe the same in order to be friends and share. I would be thrilled to visit with anyone, seperately, that would like to discuss this topic further.

I am a noob, in gaming terms, to the blogging world so I ask your patience as this space develops and I get my blogging legs.

Again, welcome.