Saturday, January 26, 2013

Two Totally Different Planets

Through 51 years of life, married to the same man for 32 years, (although the formative years were spent with three sisters), and years spent raising a son, (yet it is clear that as the mom my perspective ruled on most occasions), I can be perplexed by the male/female, Mars/Venus exchange.

It began like this:
A quiet moment at home and D. asks, "What are you thinking?"
A pause, my response, "Nothing,...really."
D., "A guy can say that and really mean it but I don't think women can."

Later, the same week . . .
A friend and male co-worker, C., sits across from my desk and we are discussing the work schedule peppered with general, friendly conversation.  I'm speaking and typing at the computer, glance over and observe C., deep in thought.
Me, "What are you thinking," he blinks me into focus; smiling I insist, "just now what were you thinking?"
His forehead wrinkles in concentration then offers, "Nothing."
Surprised, "Really, you were somewhere else completely."
"I know" he admits, "I was somewhere else but I wasn't thinking of any thing."

Is this what D. meant?  I went to my next "go to" male expert.

L. is back at school but this same week we were visiting and I explained the exchange with D. and C., "Do you agree with Dad?"

"I think it is a difference in men and women." he opined.  "When I'm thinking it is more like blocks of distinct things that I'm passing over, not giving any one thing attention just scanning, but from that scan I can make decisions on any one block.  It's not a stream of thought, one specific thought leading to another so if you asked me what I was thinking I couldn't say a particular thing, so my answer could, and would, be 'nothing.'"

No one will argue that men and women have different perspectives and often times have difficulty seeing/understanding the other.  As a society we have always wrestled with opposing male/female perspectives seeking to provide insight.  The media thrives and prospers on this.  Two popular examples are the humorous movie, When Harry Met Sally or the relationship book Men are from Mars Women are from Venus.

The interview from Good Morning America between the host of The Bachelor, Chris Harrison and Lara Spencer provides a glimpse of the male/female misunderstanding as it happens, (their interview starts at 1:45 into the video with their differing perspectives around 3:00).  See if the differences are as obvious to you.

I enjoy the male/female differences and realize there are some things about men I will never fully understand but that provides me with the opportunity to practice love, patience, acceptance and respect for the men in my life.

This particular item bounced around me all in one week, providing food for thought.  What has recently given you food for thought?

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Sunday, January 20, 2013

Favorites of 2012

Is it part of our DNA or mainly media driven that January is a month of reflections into the past?  Here is a reflection on posts of the past year.

The Art of Making a Good Decision
This post I have linked to multiple times because it is good, sound advice.  This week, as I watched a favorite show premiere, the number of characters making multiple bad decisions was almost comical.  It is sobering to know that too many individuals will model this poor behavior. 
January 2012 was the last post for the FF.  The title has been abbreviated as I recognized that the second F was garnering a large number of search hits for a different meaning, the majority being from behind the iron curtain.

Your Thread In the Historic Fabric
This is a personal favorite reflecting on my hometown, much like the small hometowns all across America.
A powerful lesson abides here.

A guest blogger I love offering a different perspective.

Beginnings don't begin only in January.  
Christian Insights is the tab for my spiritual reflections.  This post speaks to where we all are...often.
Nothing moves me like seeing the goodness of people pouring out toward their fellow man.  This is a shout out to all those who believe in helping, caring and loving their neighbor.

If you missed these posts I invite you to click in.
What reflections do you have on 2012?

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Saturday, January 12, 2013

What Should I Know About You?

When I used to drive L. to school I loved picking him up.  It was time spent sitting close over an extended period with nothing available to do but talk.  When we got home he was off to his homework and game console and I was off to make supper.  We had great conversations riding home.  I often treated him to a soda so I could extend our visits.

Christmas break is over and L. is back at school.  In 2010 our family participated in a Wellness Program that helped us make significant lifestyle changes. We exercise regularly and often walk a neighborhood path.  When L. is home he makes a point of getting us out walking, daily

Our walks recreate that special after school time. Current conversations often revolve around dating and relationships. Our desire is strong for L. to meet that special girl. A girl he can build a loving relationship that will last their lifetime with. The odds for them to be successful in this world are so long. How can a couple shorten the odds?

It is not uncommon for me to say, "If it is that important to you it is a topic to discuss before getting serious."  Could a variety of serious relationship landmines be missed by discussing mundane topics early?  These are just some of the topics I would encourage anyone to broach in conversation with that possible 'significant other':

1.  Do you like to snuggle or don't touch unless given permission?
2.  Do you fold/put away your laundry or leave it in the basket until you wear it again?
3.  What is/was regular meal time like; home cooked, eat out, carry out?
4.  Do you regularly arrive just in time, before time, or late?
5.  What is you opinion about daycare?
6.  What was your relationship like with your grandparents?
7.  How did your mom/dad interact with their in-laws?
8.  What is your level of clean; cluttered but clean, don't like to dust or vacuum but can't stand clutter, clean queen, hoarder.
9.  What is your current debt level?
10.  How did your parent's disagree; shout and stomp out, go quiet and brood, calm discussion?

What other issues would you suggest a possible couple consider?

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Saturday, January 5, 2013

2013 Kick-off!

The year is hardly out of the bag and I'm jumping into a new project with both feet and dragging L. along with me.  There is a 'honey-do' list still on the counter with my name on it, (two items already crossed off) but the sewing machines weren't scheduled to return until the list was down to just two items.

L. has one more week of break before heading back to school and we've watched movies, taken walks and cooked our favorite meals.  Time enough left but to do a project together!
Re-covering a big, old, arm chair has been in the back of my mind since we bought it over 5 years ago.  When we moved here (L. was just starting high school) we bought a house with a one room basement.  We turned it into L.'s Man Cave, the perfect location for a ratty, comfy chair...and yet...out of sight out of mind.

The springs in the seat need repair and therefore our first step is to see if we can handle that part of the project.  Pulling the bottom apart has abraded our knuckles, broken fingernails and shot staples across the room but we were rewarded with success.  After close examination and some Googled videos we have a plan and a purchasing list.

Springs repair and seat reassembling will be completed before Sunday night.  L.s physical strength is critical with this step as well as his math skills in measuring and calculating fabric requirements.  He'll also help get the chair pulled apart so I can work on re-covering.

We have a successful trip to the fabric store to move us along.  We found this gold/brown textured piece that was originally $16.99 per yard but it was in the sale area but not marked.  We were hoping for $6, like the others around it, and lit up when the clerk said $3!

I can't imagine we could complete the whole process before L. flies off but it will keep us busy and be a shared treasure when complete.

Stay tuned for pictures of the finished product!

What have you jumped into, already this new year?