It began like this:
A quiet moment at home and D. asks, "What are you thinking?"
A pause, my response, "Nothing,...really."
D., "A guy can say that and really mean it but I don't think women can."
Later, the same week . . .
A friend and male co-worker, C., sits across from my desk and we are discussing the work schedule peppered with general, friendly conversation. I'm speaking and typing at the computer, glance over and observe C., deep in thought.
Me, "What are you thinking," he blinks me into focus; smiling I insist, "just now what were you thinking?"
His forehead wrinkles in concentration then offers, "Nothing."
Surprised, "Really, you were somewhere else completely."
"I know" he admits, "I was somewhere else but I wasn't thinking of any thing."
Is this what D. meant? I went to my next "go to" male expert.
L. is back at school but this same week we were visiting and I explained the exchange with D. and C., "Do you agree with Dad?"
"I think it is a difference in men and women." he opined. "When I'm thinking it is more like blocks of distinct things that I'm passing over, not giving any one thing attention just scanning, but from that scan I can make decisions on any one block. It's not a stream of thought, one specific thought leading to another so if you asked me what I was thinking I couldn't say a particular thing, so my answer could, and would, be 'nothing.'"
The interview from Good Morning America between the host of The Bachelor, Chris Harrison and Lara Spencer provides a glimpse of the male/female misunderstanding as it happens, (their interview starts at 1:45 into the video with their differing perspectives around 3:00). See if the differences are as obvious to you.
I enjoy the male/female differences and realize there are some things about men I will never fully understand but that provides me with the opportunity to practice love, patience, acceptance and respect for the men in my life.