Friday, July 6, 2012

Who Do You Love?

In your lifetime people pass in and out.  Although some stay for a short time their impact may be great and you have a love for them that lasts long after they are gone.  Some, such as family, are there your whole lifetime but their impact may be minimal or contentious and your feelings for them are tepid.

We can love, or more aptly admire, people from afar.  These are people you will never/can never meet but are aware of them through the media or literature.  You may feel quite strongly about their actions or character.

Some are loved because you have taken on their physical care and choose to watch out for them; a child from Big Brothers/Big Sisters, or someone you mentor.  Neighbors or friends can become very dear to us.  Perhaps you have a story similar to this.

We are born with a capacity for love which naturally manifests itself.  How your love manifests is directly affected by your life experiences, which can greatly heighten or severly damage that capacity. 

As you read these first words what names came to mind?  D., working through to his Ph.D.; had us spending many years in student housing.  Living in this communal atomsphere has blessed us with dear friends.  Perhaps you thought of co-workers or church members.

My son, L., is a gamer and has been since the mid-90's when game consoles and online gaming were rapidly rising in development and popularity. 

Within the concerns about letting our children sit and play video games I fall here: each child is different and each parent needs to assess their own child's ability to responsibly monitor their behavior online and off.  D. and I both enjoyed many video games with L., providing an example for what behavior was expected.  We stayed involved by showing interest in who he was playing with and what he was playing, guiding his choices rather than dictating.  This method may not prove useful for every child but it worked well for us and L. 

In online gaming that required a team he began meeting up with some of the same players until often they would set times to meet and play together, online.  In 2007 a game assigned L. to just such a team that included La. from Georgia.

Although L. no longer plays the game that brought them together he has remained in contact with La.  from Georgia.  In their online environment they shared a love of the game and what was happening in their lives.  They have commiserated through growing pains and relational heartaches.  They have encouraged and supported each other over time and distance.  They have yet to meet face to face but they list each other as brothers on Facebook.

Who do you love? 

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  1. I understand. We've used controlled gaming with our sons with some great ensuing benefits. The key is careful monitoring and control. And, of course, communication.

  2. I found your website the other day and after reading a handful of posts, thought I would say thank you for all the great content. Keep it coming! I will try to stop by here more often.