Friday, March 23, 2012

Who's in Charge?

Feelings are fickle things.  They can settle in and haunt us or change with a heartbeat.  There is a mantra I share with my son, and all who will listen, "Don't let your feelings make your decisions."  How you feel today will not be how you feel tomorrow or next week or next year.  Especially strong feelings will wane, often more quickly then you expect.

Knowing this, strongly advising this, you may anticipate that when a strong feeling takes hold of me the struggle is minimal.  On the contrary, it seems twice as difficult to control my behavior because I know better.

I've shared that the empty nest syndrome has plagued me since last August.  I've poured much of that energy into quilting (working on #5 currently) but there are days when I have missed L. something terrible.  We've gone through two campus visits, the holiday breaks and most recently a wonderful week of spring break.  As I wave good-by my heart grows heavy.

In my mind there is no saddness.  L. is doing so well adapting to college life.  He is managing his own changes with maturity and good decisions.  He stays in touch with us, sharing his struggles, concerns and new experiences. 

My heart, on the other hand, is desperately seeking a change.  The feeling is strong to change my environment (what I have control over) and change it now.  My mind knows this is not the thing to do, don't let your feelings make decisions, but oh, the struggle is tough.  I'm thankful D. is so patient and understanding of my mercurial feelings but more so his steadfastness in thwarting any rash actions.

The empty nest experience is one of those personal, common experiences, with none being the same.  There are those who can empathize or sympathize or just love me through this. I appreciate you all.  I am assured by those who have gone before that these moments of strong emotion will eventually subside.  In the meantime I hold true to the statement; don't let your feelings make your decisions. 

Pictures from:


  1. Don't let your feelings make your decisions...such wonderful words of wisdom....Being a feeler myself that is sometimes very hard to do....

    I totally understand your feelings of missing your child; I went through it twice. Those corners of a mom's heart that holds her child are precious just like God's heart is holding you...Joy and pain seem to go hand in hand in this life we are called to live but God will give you all you need to handle this season.....Cling to Him tightly.....

  2. Quite often I have let my feelings make my decisions to disastrous results. I remember that feeling when my daughter left home--oh it was hard and then soon after she married and moved to Seattle all the way across the country! I wanted to weep every day even though I knew she was happy. I would have adopted twelve dogs and children if my husband had let me then!LOL

  3. So true! feelings are fickle. Hard to ignore, but not 100% trustworthy.

  4. True words, Sally. This, I think, is part of a mother's labor. Never really ends as long as you're alive. So glad to know that all of the ups and downs of life down here are only temporary and that one day - joy forever.

  5. I have thought of you lately as I have gone through boxes of my own adult sons' shirts and thought of making a quilt. Even though I still have two at home I still feel that way at times over the four not here...and I even think I am suppose to be doing something different. Each season new challenges. May the Lord continue to point His way for this new season of life.

  6. Sound advice, Sally. I'm so impressed that you are working on quilt #5.