Feelings are fickle things. They can settle in and haunt us or change with a heartbeat. There is a mantra I share with my son, and all who will listen, "
Don't let your feelings make your decisions." How you feel today will not be how you feel tomorrow or next week or next year. Especially strong feelings will wane, often more quickly then you expect.
Knowing this, strongly advising this, you may anticipate that when a strong feeling takes hold of me the struggle is minimal. On the contrary, it seems twice as difficult to control my behavior
because I know better.
I've shared that the empty nest syndrome has plagued me since last
August. I've poured much of that energy into
quilting (working on #5 currently) but there are days when I have missed L. something terrible. We've gone through two campus visits, the holiday breaks and most recently a wonderful week of spring break. As I wave good-by my heart grows heavy.
In my mind there is no saddness. L. is doing so well adapting to college life. He is managing his own changes with maturity and good decisions. He stays in touch with us, sharing his struggles, concerns and new experiences.
My heart, on the other hand, is desperately seeking a
change. The feeling is strong to change my environment (what I have control over) and change it now. My mind knows this is not the thing to do, d
on't let your feelings make decisions, but oh, the struggle is tough. I'm thankful D. is so patient and understanding of my mercurial feelings but more so his steadfastness in thwarting any rash actions.
The empty nest experience is one of those personal, common experiences, with none being the same. There are those who can empathize or sympathize or just love me through this. I appreciate you all. I am assured by those who have gone before that these moments of strong emotion will eventually subside. In the meantime I hold true to the statement; don't let your feelings make your decisions.
Pictures from:
plus.google.com
my.englishclub.com
i-am-changing-my-life.seebyseeing.net